My laments about the Indian cricket team got to her. Priya Raju makes a fine attempt to put an end to my sorrow. What can i say – ROTFL.

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Reading my posts, you might wrongly conclude that I have not a serious thought in my mind. At this very moment, let me assure you, that I’m thinking long & hard about spittle. This is how it all came about.

Ok, close your eyes & think about India’s performance in any sport in the world arena. For every Viswanathan Anand, Shiny Wilson and Leander Paes, we have exactly 99,952,789 talent-free zombies who think they are sports-persons. My husband, a patriot, is deeply distressed by all this. So I decided to fix this once & for all.

Sure, we were doing great in Hockey, Cricket & a few other games. As long as 2.14 other countries were playing it. In such a scenario, a medal or a cup is inevitable. It was almost enough for us to show up on time.

But soon, trouble started. The Chinese, the Koreans, the Americans, the Ukrainians (and the 190 other countries in the world) started playing all these games. Better than us. Totally inconsiderate of them, I daresay. Why, tomorrow upstarts like Vanuatu & Tonga Islands may start playing hockey & beat us pants-down.

Clearly, we need a strategy here. We should go after a sport where we have the natural inclination. No tired old shtick – we need a new game. A game where traits like team-work and discipline are not needed – we mutated & lost those traits ages ago.

We need a new game: a game where – why be humble – we Indians may be the greatest in this planet. I give you (drum-roll, please)……The Great Millenial Spitathon! Exactly what is a Spitathon? Why, the great Indian sport of spitting on the streets, of course.

You think spitting is not a sport? You narrow-minded varmint. You’ve clearly not seen a master in action. The trajectory of the spit, the speed at which it is delivered, the distance traveled – why, the possibilities boggle my mind. Not to mention the spitting mouth action – veritable gymnastics, that will give Nadia Comaneci a complex.

And the sound effects, the acoustics that go with it – I can imagine an indoor Olympic event near the wash-stand. And there is so much regional variety in spitting. Some states use paan heavily, some chew tobacco, some neither – sort of unity in diversity.

Think of all the other advantages. We don’t need special playing facilities. Any road will do for a practice session, as long as there are other people on whom one can practice. No new-fangled turf, pitch, spiked shoes or hapless coaches to blame our failures on. And there will be so much competition & skill in the country, that the selection committee will be over-whelmed.

You ask me what we should do if the French and the Brazilians latch on to Spitathon quickly & beat us? True, we must be prepared for every eventuality. Never fear, I have that covered – we can nurture 2 other games on the sly. Games where we may have total monopoly in the world: Snotathon & Peeathon.

A very interesting attempt at explaining what REST – “Representational State Transfer”is!!

What do you call Chilled Beer in Bihar? (Via Sairam Muthuswamy).

TTG’s response to a lonely Delhi gal. Hilarious.

Tristan Miller mathematically proves why  you may never have a girlfriend. Make sure you read the email he received from some one through the link he provides.  Hilarious! (Via Stumbleupon).