There is an important criteria what action qualifies for discussion below. I define it as – “Any action done for no direct benefit to the doer but for the person to whom this is being done for”.

Some examples to make this very clear
  • I take a relative of mine to the doctor when s/he is sick
  • I take care of my neighbour’s dog while they are out of town.
  • I guide a colleague when s/he is stuck in work late night by sitting with him/her to fix an issue.
  • I take my brother-in-law for some examination
  • Taking my parents to a temple
  • Giving money to my domestic help for his/her kid’s education
  • Helping ease out traffic at neighbourhood junction
  • Giving money to an orphanage 
Please note that none of the actions listed above have a direct benefit to the doer (i.e. me).

In general in our daily life there is a good probability that everything we do for others is categorised by us mentally as a Help we have done the other person.

The thought is pretty simple, when we do an action for somebody else it falls under one the following 3 categories.
   • Duty
   • Obligation
   • Charity

Let me explain each one of them in detail

Duty – This is something which I have to do for others regardless of what or how I feel about it. These are defined by ourselves .So simply you go ahead and do it when these action present themselves in front of us. Examples of them are
  • Taking care of my sick parents
  • Educating my kids
  • Voting on election day

Obligation – This is something which I have to do for others but I make it clear to them that it is an obligation and I expect something in return. Examples of them are
    • When my neighbour asks me to take of his/her dog instead of quietly accepting and doing it I make it clear ti him – “Sure I can do that. It is little difficult but I am sure you will take of receiving the courier when I am out of town    and you would not mind me giving you contact number”
  • Help a colleague at work but tell him/her  ”I can help you with but you will need to help me out next week with the assignment – right?”

The basic point is when you are doing an obligation, make sure the other person has to return the favour in explicit terms. In corporate terminology “Set expectations explicitly and clearly”

Charity – This is an activity which we do and should not expect anything in return and is done of sheer free will. Note this is different from Duty in that there is no external requirement to this activity.Examples of them are
  • Helping out a neighbour drop the kid at school
  • Taking out my wife’s uncle for a shopping who is visiting from out of town.
  • Giving money to my driver when his/her father is sick

Now that we have defined the 3 categories, we need to deal with them. We should be careful in life never to mix the categories which lead us to heartburns, disappointments and spoilt relationships.It is a simple 2 step process
   •  Before doing any activity for others categorize mentally into one of the 3 buckets and do it.
   •  This is the most important step – Do not mix the items in the bucket after the activity is done ever in the future.

So you need to be clear in your mind on how you are doing the categorization and never ever shuffle the contents of buckets. Look at buckets as a post box into which an activity can be categorized and dropped but can never be taken out.

The tough part is that there are activities which can qualify as under any of the above, so it is up to each individual to classify it accordingly. For example I can say that “Doing the laundry or the vessels” is an obligation to my wife ( ok I am going to get a lecture about this statement from my wife) but on the other hand I can also classify it as a duty as a husband or a father. A typical example of falling into the pit hole – I pay my driver some money for his kid’s school fees and at the time of giving the money I categorize it as charity but may be some months later I ask the driver to come on a Sunday and he refuses. I feel hurt recollecting that I helped but he is not helping me or I tell him so now, which is even worse.

To summarize – Help others by categorizing your actions and never change it after you have done it.

Finally got to watch the movie -  This is by no means a film critique. Nor I am writing for/against the merit of the movie or whether it is award worthy.

While I am not surprised at the reaction from some Indian filmmakers, couldnt let it go that easily.  Again, this is not about the comments on the quality of the movie in a literary sense. But my reaction to the comments like ‘intentional exploitation of India’ by Priyadarshan.

Fact is Danny Boyle has shown the murky underbelly quite visibly. But then, we should be appreciating the fact that someone did it. Yes, the story itself may not be great; it feels like an old Hindi movie at times; but somewhere there is an element of reality which we’ve rarely seen in any Hindi movies.

Back to Priyan’s comment, he is equally free to make a movie that shows UK/US and its underbelly.  No, Priyan is comfortable sitting back and remaking malayalam movies into Hindi with very minimal changes. Arent you exploiting the talented Mally writers & directors? So, I just dont think the comment about exploitation of India is appropriate.

(BTW, I do thoroughly enjoy & appreciate Priyan’s own original mallu movies..)

For once, cant we just appreciate something? Let us welcome the focus on India. Yes, I very much want it to be good PR and about the bright side, but then there is always two sides to the coin and lets not fool ourselves by covering it up or acting to be ignorant.

Secondly & More importantly, the slum scenes in the movie reminded me of my own experience when I had the chance to see dharavi closely. If the situation is the same today, whatever portrayed in the movie is very true. (Ever since those days, every time I land at the mumbai airport, my heart sinks for a moment. But it is quickly morphed into anger/hatred at the very sight of greedy police & security folks at the gates. )

Made me wonder about the level of charity in our country. In general, there seems to be very little Charity activity in India especially compared to US. And I am talking about relative comparison, not absolute comparison. The perception one builds if you’ve lived in both places is that there is a focused effort and recognition for Charitable causes and spending in US. Here is the list of most charitable countries as a % of GDP, India is no where in the list where as even South Africa has found a spot.

Why is there such low level of Charity activity in India? Of course, it can be just perception and a lot is ‘undocumented’ in India where as it is probably deliberately advertised in US. There was even a comparison somewhere on the charitable cotributions b/w the presidential candidates based on their public tax returns. I can only dream of a day when I can see this in India (both the transparency and the charity)

BigB, even you wrote about the murky underbelly. What have you/the bollywood industry done in all these years for the slum dwellers? Why isnt there a focused activity or campaign or organization after all these years to do something so that the infamous slum in mumbai is done with? Take US and even for the slightest cause, there seems to be a non-profit organization with necessary campaigns, events, activities and a celebrity to support the same.

Maybe I am wrong and there is a very healthy charitable contribution made by India’s rich.If anything, SD movie should make us think & act on these lines. Let us appreciate Danny Boyle & crew atleast for that.

Jai Ho!

My post last week received a comment about potential financial contributions to the CSR program.

I am happy to announce that my company’s band Euphony is performing. The concert will take place on the 26th of April (Saturday) between 4PM and 7PM at the Sir Muthu Venkatasubba Rao Concert Hall, Harrington Road, Chetpet, Chennai, India.

Proceeds from this show will go to a set of charitable organizations (the list is being finalized). By way of background, Euphony is a Indian Music Band comprising my company’s employees.

They finished runner-up in the Vijay TV ( a local TV channel) – Paadum Office program earlier in the year. I have personally seen them perform during company events based on which i can vouch for the quality.

Several Rs. 500 (USD 12.5) and Rs. 1000 (USD 25) denominated tickets are available. If you don’t reside in Chennai, India, we hope that you will buy tickets for friends and family residing in Chennai.

If you are interested, please write the quantity and denomination you would like in the comments section ASAP. We are working on a method by which you can pay the money directly to the charities without us getting in the middle. This will also avoid tax issues for us. Hope you will all enthusiastically support this social cause and enjoy the concert as well.

Thanks in advance for your support.